In the meantime, Phelix needed to get into town every day to literally chase his dream. Like many city dwellers of low income, he preferred to catch the train for his daily commute because it was much cheaper than road transport. He says of him and his then-struggling actor friends, ’Sometimes we didn’t have the money. It was just thirty shillings to pay for the train. I would hang at the door, hide in the toilet or stand in-between carriages.’ But soon the train staff caught up to the toilet and carriage trick. Those who were down on their luck like Phelix could now only hang outside the train. In vivid detail, Phelix tells of this nerve-wracking experience, ‘There were people who were lucky enough to hold the handle of the door of the train, and you would literally hold onto their bodies. You don’t know the person you’re holding on to, but you just have to hang on and go to town. If he lets go, all of you go down.’ Dead. 

Many fatal accidents have been witnessed as one too many an overwhelmed commuter loosens grip and lets go of the door. For those sitting on the roof of the train, failure to duck in time from bridges and live electric wires spelt their doom. 

Describing his survival tactics, Phelix continues, ‘The other alternative was to play hide and seek. The train cabin has got two doors, and the conductor walks up and down taking the money. When the train stops, you get out through one door.’ And back on again through the other door that was now the farthest from the conductor. One had to engage in this ‘dodging dance’ several times over the duration of the trip. ‘Then you make sure that you alight at the last stop before the train station. Because if you get there without a ticket… they put you in the cells immediately. There was no question about that.’ Due to police brutality and a rampant corruption culture, detention and incarceration is every citizen’s nightmare; to be avoided at all costs.

Phelix had one more trick up his sleeve. He divulges, ‘Alternatively, when people are alighting, you ask for someone’s receipt. And you can now leave the toilet, or the middle of the carriages, and come and sit back inside the train.’ 

Thrown back in time, he forlornly confesses, ‘It was not our wish not to pay. Or that we wanted to play hide and seek. We just didn’t have the thirty shillings.’

Phelix recalls one particularly difficult day when he had to leave for home on an earlier train. It was by and large empty, as rush hour was yet to set in. He says, ‘I had hustled and hustled the whole day. Even getting thirty shillings to go back to my house – I was not able to. I hadn’t eaten the whole day. I just wanted to go home and sleep. So, I got up onto the roof of the train. I was the only person on an eleven-carriage train, all the way. Alone. Broke. Tired. Hungry. Dejected. Every noun that you can use to describe misery. Everyone was looking at me askance – What’s wrong with this guy, can’t he just get inside the train? But I didn’t have the money to pay.’ With the spotlight on him, Phelix had nowhere to hide. He was deeply ashamed and fully humiliated by the judging, devouring eyes of all those who witnessed this spectacle. The Chinese would demurely say he completely lost face. 

Most people’s spirits would have been broken long before this point. They would either have joined a life of crime, settled for a menial job with a spouse and kids to boot, or simply taken hard to the bottle. Cheap and illicit liquor is always available in numerous dens all over the city. Others would have just given up and gone back to idle away in their parents’ homes. The thing with life…all these options are acceptable. No one would have held it against Phelix. People like him just did not have a chance. They were taken for granted as write-offs. Easily disposable. Society expected and understood that.  

Reflecting back at his hair-raising train rides, Phelix points out with empathy, ’They gave me an opportunity to appreciate and learn that you know what – each and every single day the person that you meet in the streets – you don’t know what they are going through. Sometimes they have not eaten. Sometimes they have walked all the way to be in town. All they are doing is just searching for the next big break.’ 

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Excerpt From Phelix’s Story: ‘PILLARS OF AFRICA:  They Dared To Dream’ – Compiled & Written by Sheida

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